Zombie Warz
by RandomDustBunnyzAngel
Summary: Oh my goesh! Attack of the Zombji's! A sure stupid parody type thing -that is only a parody because it fits into no other category- for chap 516. Don't like bad jokes? Don't read.


**And once again, nothing happens, which wouldn't be so bad if it didn't look like Kishi just totally gave up on drawing the characters properly, some of them look like unidentifiable blobs of random lines, some are over shadowed and there were some really, really overly thick lines. I draw only as a hobby but it was kind of dissapointing the first few pages. Eh it was Shinobi independance day, I can let it slide :p**

**Warnings: Foul language and slight OOC-ness, slight character bashing and a LONG ass end A/N ,for a reason of course :b**

**Pairings: None.**

**Thankies: Yuti-chan, QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGunner, and Princess Zathura ^_^**

**I don't own NARUTO that honor goes to Masashi Kishimoto and tvTokyo, I love ya Kishi, I really do, it's just it doesn't appear like your planning skills are up to par with everyone expectations. **

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**PS: Okay, since I got a yahoo account in place of my crappy AOL, I should get emails now, at least I hope or else you guys will have to deal with the PM Replies for a while until it's fixed.**

**000**

"They-they're all moving out!," Tokuma hyuuga yelled out to his team.

AHHHHH! What in the name of all that is good and bishi going on?~! Why does he look like the Roadrunner after it meeps at the coyote?~!

"What are you telling me for?~! report back to base you idiot!," Anko?who really does look like red bean paste, yelled back.

Seriously they look f_uuuu_cked up.

"But what about you?," the Hyuuga asked worridly.

"I'll try to slow them down,"

Good luck with that.

**-Next, next next-**

We got Slug boy, Horned beetle girl, Two tailed cat girl, The dolphin horse guy, Kakuzu and Itachi darting out the holes leading to the bone yard into the world outside.

_Up where they walk, up where they run_

_Up where they stay all day in the sun_

_Wondering free, wish I could be_

_Part of that world._ (fitting)

In some forest Zabuza, Haku, Kenpachi and lots of other ninja were leaping through the trees like squirrel-cats.

"Zabuza this is not the after life," The Haku zombji said in a soft voice.

Way to point out the obvious.

"I know, that damn angels directions led us right back here! the last time I trust some damn wheel within a wheel covered in eyes and fire," Who knew the demon of the mist could identify a real angel?

"So strange, I have my mind, but I can't move on my own...It's like some freak show rejects controlling me,"

You are very observative man-girl.

Kenpachi snorted and began to explain,"This is a forbidden technique called-,"

Yeah, yeah whatever we know already! it's the same thing that brought Zabu and Haku back in ultimate ninja 2 during the Oro/ Third fight, teh same thing that revived the First and second Hokage's during Part 1 and the same thing that's been explained so many times I think people's heads would start exploding if we had to hear it again.

"...So it's a ressurection jutsu?," Haku asked.

"Pretty much,"

**Inside the batcave**

Sasori who looks very tall, DeiDei, Mada and Kabu-slick stood in companiment to a big guy in black and...Hey! Is that Sai's older ''brother''? You know what i think it is, holy crap, haven't said this in a while but-

V'HAT A TWIST!

Kabu-maru laughed as he cupped his chin with his thumb and index finger, "I'd say we've made good progress! We've beaten people up, burned some people, killed a few puppies, you rescued that one kitten for the little girl, saved some cattle cause you know you, you gotta save cattle, I mean don't worry about our army that seems to be dissapearing and teleporting all over the place barely in either of our control you gotta save the cows..." at the end his voice had quieted down into a bitter/sarcastic whisper.

Madara hummed,"Though we didn't really save them, we just kind of sent them out into a blizzard, presumably they went out for a few seconds got cold and went back inside, or maybe not since cows are kind of stupid, they were probably just 'hhmmm moo it be cold,' and then just accepted it and went off to find some grass, and then they died..." he said

(This pointless conversation is brought to you by one of the most irritating/strange games ever, Cyrostasis)

"Well this is waisted valuable plot development time," The white haired root ninja muttered looking to the other ninja.

"What plot development?," The black clothed ninja whispered back.

"I know...Which reminds me, shouldn't you be attacking them?,"

"Yes, but I won't," you don't have a choice anyway.

Deidara blinked up at his taller former partner, "Hey danna how come you look so much bigger than me?, hmm," he asked

"Because brat, not only am i older but i was always tallerm my natural body was originally this height," Sasori explained.

"So you made yourself shorter as a puppet? yeah," The blond rose an eyebrow.

"Yes,"

"Why?,"

"It was the height requirement for most rollarcoasters and water rides at Universal studios, now back off blondie," The puppet user growled.

"Don't call me blondie! Pinocchio!," The bomber hit Sasori in the arm.

"Don't call me Pinocchio! You dumbass dead as dirt bleached blond!," Sasori grabbed a hunk of Deidara's long locks.

"You wanna die Woodie?~!,"

"We _are dead_ you idiot!,"

Hehe, bitch fit.

A few cat hisses later the two were engaged in a full out, fist throwing brawl.

And we move back over to the conversation going on between our Mada-sama and Science-experament fail.

"But won't it be hard to control them all from here?," The Uchiha asked.

"Not if we take turns," Kabu-maru gave a slick grin.

"For the last time I have bigger things to deal with," Madara huffed childishly.

The snakeman pouted and blew harshly, "Fine! I'll do it myself," he pointed at the Zombji's,"You all, out now!," he ordered.

"Hn," The big ninja..Hn'ed dragging the young root ninja onto one of Deidara's clay owls.

"Yes sir fussy britches, hmm," Deidara grumbled with a puffy cheek as he leaped onto his creation.

"Fuck off," Sasori grunted joining the now shorter boy.

The four rose into the air flew off out of sight.

Kabu-maru blinked, "Did Sasori just tell me to-,"

"Yup," Madara nodded

Mmm hmm

**-Somewhere else!~ squiggly :3~**

Asuma, Neji's dad, Dan and I think another guy are zooming through the trees, wow Deja-vu.

"Hey aren't you that guy that only had one line in the entire series before dying in a flashback?," Asuma asked.

"Shut up you Zhao from ATLA rip off, our souls have been forced to return to the world of the living after Aizen attacked the humans wearing no pants," Dan barked back.

"Well that answers my question," The Hyuuga of the group muttered.

Uh, actually, I think he's a little off, like _an entire series_ off.

"Hey how about a little respect? I'm tryin' here,"

Earn it and I'll give it.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Asuma grumbled lowly.

I'm saying the exact same thing I said right before I was killed the first time.

**-In the creepy man cave-**

Kabu-maru muttered something unilligable befor espeaking loudly as he watched Madara swivel around him, "You're not taking the Zetsu everyone loves with you?," _'You Greedy bastard,'_ he added in his thoughts.

"He has to stay behind to guard Sasuke, can't have you kidnapping him like the Pedobear you are in the middle of war," The elder said in a teasing manner. Though he was beyond serious.

Heaven knows what would happen if he didn't leave somebody to keep the little baby Uchiha safe.

"Hah," Funny joke is funny.

"I'll be moving out these Zetsu underground, moving such a big group above ground would be too conspicuous," Yes the _villian _figures that out, but the good guys didn't? Wow, yet another reason to like the antagonist.

And underneath the floor, levels below them, _Zuzuzuuzu_ the groups of white Zetsu clones popped out of their habitat! like _daisies_!

Zetsu, the pet you don't have to take care of, look at that area nice and clean. You think they pick up after themselves? do they eat? If so do they leave raisinettes or patties? It may be gross but it's a valid question.

Kabu-slick turned slowly towards...Somebody or something, ore than likey Zetsu, "Now we're alone...Let's start with-,"

**Start with what?~!**

"Forgive us Captain Anko!," One of the Konoha ninja's team called out, she or he and the rest of the team darting away from the place above the are were teh Zetsu's were being kept... Yeah that makes sense.

So the strange blob we saw at the beginning and the chick we saw last chapter _**was**_ Anko, I'll be, when was the last time we saw her?

The girl named after red bean paste was crouched underneath a bush, much like Deidara during the Rescue Gaara Arc, she quickly turned around and a bunch of snakes flew out of her sleeve just in time to snag-Kabuto?

Worst, magic show, EVER. And is it just me or does Anko look a little flat chested?

**Oops looks that question will never be answered**

Our favorite Akatsuki and company are flying through the air on DeiDei's clay owls.

Okay, how come Sasori looks so freaking tall here? I'm not being nit-picky or anything, it would make sense if he had already gone through puberty by the time he turned himself into a puppet.

"Kabuto was right, hmm.. There's three of them," Deidara said, removing his scope.

Oh hey it's Anko's team, so they're after them? But why?

**Damn it! **

Gaara, stood epically looking down over his troops. Who were murmuring, you can becasue there's kanji for mumbling or whispering or something, floating all over the page.

The Iwa ninja gazed up with an unbelieving expression, "Do you really think we can win with such a young commander?," Translation "Who's the brat?,"

"Lord Gaara isn't some common baby like in your village! Think before you comment on somebody you know nothing about!," A Suna ninja defended.

"How would I know that?~! You've been my villages enemy for years!," The iwa ninja barked.

"Same here! There's no way I can ever trust you! Blah, Trust, setting up for speech, blah,"

Last time I check not even a year ago nobody, not even the Suna villagers, trusted RaccoonDog-Boy, now you guys are getting into fights defending him? Good to know ninja's can have drunken political spats like everyone else.

"Looks like they still don't trust each other," Hinata mumbled watching the spat with Cloud nin girl and Neji.

The Hyuuga from the side branch crossed his arms and sighed, "Of course not, up until yesterday they were enemies, kind of hard to trust sombody with a past like that," good point is good.

"You want a piece of me?~!," The Stone dude threw a right hook at his ''enemy''

"Bring it on!,"

YEAH! Fight! Fight! Fight! Annoying Stone ninja against Sand Monkey that i totally thought was one of Kiba's clan! battle of the century!

"Hey knock it off," A party pooer ninja ordered.

The two quarelling ninja totally ignored this command.

So uh, that's the most effort anybodies going to put out?

Off on the sidelines Kakashi sighed and wondered why the adults were acting more like teenagers than the teens themselves, he then blinked as a little swirly of sand appeared between the two fighting guys, '_Huh, looks like he's not kidding around,'_

Hey lookie, it a...A uh, what's it called?

The sand exploded onto both men, ending their battle.

"AHH!," No that's not it

"There's sand in my eye!," That's not it either.

Gaara narrowed his ocean/sea/foam/blue/green eyes down at the ninja dissaprovingly.

"Three times..." he started, "Three times we've fought for our villages, our nations. We've hurt each other and we've hated each other. And that hatred created me,"

Oh no

"I was a jinchuuriki embodiment of hatred and power,"

No please

"And i hated this world and the all people in it...I wanted to destroy it with my own hands, the same thing the Akatsuki wants to do,"

And for the same reasons really.

"But one man, one ninja stopped me, I was his enemy and he wept for me! I hurt him and he called me his friend! he saved me! my fellow jinchuuriki,"

*hits remote control* Where the hell's the skip button on this thing?~!

"He suffered the same pain throughout his life that i felt!,"

Shut up!

"There are no enemies here! because we've all suffered at the hands of the Akatsuki! As of today there is no Suna, No Iwa, No Mist and no cloud!,"

Two cold glares, and two look aways. Thanks guys, good to know we're not the only ones sick of hearing speeches.

"WE ARE ONLY ''SHINOBI''!," Gaara yelled as loud as he could.

And ''samurai''! :D...So the''Shinobi'' can go kick the ''Samurai'' guys asses right?

"And if you still hold a grudge against the sand, then come and take my head instead!,"

Gasps rained through the air.

Would you shut up?~! We know all this already!

"Our enemies are after the friend who saved my life! If they take him, if we hand him over to them our world is finnished! I'm too young to protect him on my own! I need your help!,"

HOW WOULD THE WORLD END?~! They'd still have to catch Killer-bee! And Kabuto would defenantly turn on Madara and try to take the beasties he already has, so all this freaking yelling, is freaking pointless!

"Yes Sir!," The ninja below the red head cheered.

Though we're still freaking doing it apparently.

"Sorry about before," The Iwa ninja apologized to the man he'd tried to sucker punch in the face.

"Same here," The Suna ninja rudded the back of his neck.

SONOFABITCH!

A little annoying super fan-girl squeeled and clasped her hands together as she marvelled in the glowing light of the kazekage,"Gaara-sama!," whore!

"Let us go!," Gaara commanded.

"Yeah!,"

"TODAY WE CELEBRATE OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY!,"

Okay that part didn't happen, but watch Independence day with Will Smith and tell me the speech the President gives in that movie and the speech Gaara just made aren't similar.

**FINALLY! DX**

Inside the giant turtle shell, Naruto finally finnished stacking his building blocks into a structure that defies Newtons Laws of Physics, but not as much as Bee's did, does that mean fail?

"Yes I did it!," The blond cheered.

"Well done," Killer-bee nodded in approval,"Now comes the final part, it'll be hard and'll test your heart, but don't get mad cause it's time to start,"

Naruto's eyes widened.

What's the final part?

***sigh* why do I bother?**

Superdarty ninja! Excuse me, ''Shinobi!'' with Shizune!

Flying high in the sky! It's Kankuro!

Let's play with a snot bubble! -ew- it's Inoichi (something like that) and some other guy who really could use a hair cut.

Okay Naruto Bishi's let's say the big word with RDBA, Haircut, haircut! They're like fifteen dollars for decent ones.

"And so begins the fourth great ninja war," The Tsuchikage said.

"We're going to win," The Raikage crossed his arms epically.

"With no doubt," Tsunade agreed.

_To be continued._

From here the series can only get better and less evil...right?

**Random plot time!**

In a magical forest of pink bunnies and cotton candy trees there was a hot pink haired princess ,named Karin, happily skipping and singing around in circles to twirl around her big poofy dress and summon all the little creatures to sing with her.

"_I'm a gummy bear, gummy bear, gummy bear, gummy bear,"_

The white haired prince, who stood with sweat running down his face on the sidelines, Suigetsu rolled his eyes and grumbled under his breath, "Why am I here?,"

"_Cause I can't sing the gummy bear song with just one person!,"_ Karin sang in an obvious tone.

"But I'm not singing it with you so you are singing it by yourself," Suigetsu said, crossing his arms making the chainlink mesh he wore rattle.

"_No I'm not, cause your heart is a singin'," _

"Uh, no it's not,"

He's right it isn't, listen

_*bumpbump bumpbump*_

_"sure it is,"_ The princess giggled.

"No really it isn't,"

Really, really.

Karin's aura darkened and she stopped dead in her tracks, her head fell to the side as she stiffly turned to look at him, "Yes it is," she said slowly, venom dripped from every word.

Suigetsu sweated, "Okay then,"

The princess returned to normal and began to dance and sing once more

"Ahoo, ahoo," the Juugo bird, that was covered in dull orange feathers, passed over head.

"This is the last time Karin will ever dream about me," Suigetsu grumbled.

And this is the last time I eat cheese before bed -_- (Yes that was a dream I had, suprising? Not really)

**End:end:End**

_Always keep in mind that the answer one seeks is nothing but a question hidden beneath a question hidden beneath a question hidden within an answer._

_And for some these answers go on for infinity, for eternity, beyond the heavens, the stars and even distant galaxies, maybe even different realms of reality._

_For sure it goes beyond common belief, a difference, much like the seventh day for families of those who've left is a bit different from what you'd see in any chapter of any bible, of any religion, of any held tight stead fast belief._

_That sacred line that divides the holy from the profane soullessness of the world outside the doors blurs like footsteps in the sand as the wind sweeps them away into the past kept close and mourned by passers bye on occasion._

_**Once a year is good enough right?**_

_How many days left? how many hours? minutes? seconds? Must tick by before 'that one' returns to those left behind? those that stand on the shores of a beach not there for the sand or the surf or the sun which shines brightly, but are there to wait and pray to the swelling waves and any spiritual being that might be passing over head in constellations galaxies away._

_"Let them return home safe,"._

_How long, until the hunk of exploding steal, the bringer of death for so many, is set down and traded for a remote control and a peaceful nap on a sunday afternoon? _

_How long until the sounds of heavy footsteps marching, marching, marching into the sounds of bullets and tanks firing, streaming jets birthing rainbows in the after image of a bloody battle and screams of a mother grasping her child ,caught in the blast of a car bomb, watching as his life slowly fades from his eyes_

_Ceases for just a moment?_

_It will come soon but not soon enough_

_Figures leap and dodge, over and under, over and under, over and under looking for a place, looking for a place, looking for a place were it will be safe. Safe._

_That place, you know it means something, Like a baby knows that the warm breast of his mother means comfort and a place to hide from the world outside,_

_Like the child knows that her father will never be able to lift her up high or let her ride on his shoulders, ever, ever again._

_And like the young widower knows there's no longer any reason to wait._

**- For Veterans Day, **_**'Has Been, Will Be' **_**(c) ME! Noel (yeah that's my name -/-) RDBA ^_^. though I'm a tad bit ( Four days?) late uploading it here, the extended version of this was preformed at my local church on Nov 10th.**

**Thank you for reading! Please review! JA NE~!**


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